Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Weekend and Monday

Well the weekend was rather unexciting. Sam worked all weekend, which left me here alone. It is hard to get through each day when each day is like a week day instead of a weekend. Paul had to work. He is so good at being a referree.

Monday- we started a bible study on Taming the tongue.. it seems like we have all had a problem doing that lately. It is amazing how hurtful words can be. We are studying James 1:19-20 and James 3:1-12 in the Bible in hopes that through the Word we can learn to tame our tongue! So far we have had a peaceful week, but it has just begun. Ask me friday how it went...(haha)

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Friday Madness

There is nothing like waking up in the morning and hearing your kids fighting first thing. Well that set the pace for the rest of the day. They fought over everything from who is going to what choir to how they were looking at each other. After a night were Noah was up fussing because he had his shots the day before I was not in the mood. So by lunch I was fed up and I told them all so. I got dressed, prepared Noah, took Liberty and left the house. I told them get the choirs done but I was not going to stick around to listen to their madness. I needed the break, the peace! I love my children that is why I homeschool. But I do not desire their treatment not only towards themselves but towards me as well. I often wonder if their ears are open when we do family devotions.
This week we were doing Ephesians 5- and not a bit of it was sinking in. It made me just wonder why, why was I doing this every day. When I could be like every other American Mom out there and put my kids in public school and let them raise my children and instill their values in them. I would be home in a quiet house with just Noah and Liberty. Why did we sit down every night or try to every night and read scripture. To hear ourselves talk? I know children will be children, I know that they do not think like adults, but you wonder do they hear you at all?

Thursday, January 25, 2007

My beloved and Noah

I love this photo of Sam and Noah. Sam just woke up and Noah woke up and went right back to sleep!
I love how babies can sleep anywhere. Don't you?
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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

What comfort

2 Corinthians
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

The God of compassion, something I know at times I do not have enough of. The God of all comfort- do I comfort in all situations? Lord- Thank you for your words that reach me in my darkest most desperates times. Only you Lord can do that. Thank you for using my sister Celina in this time to bring me your word. I know that when I am in these moments I should seek your word but often times I have no idea where to start. Help me Lord to reach for you, to reach for your words to live by those words. Strengthen me Holy Spirit to be the mother, wife and friend you intended me to be. -Amen

There are so many changes and uncertainties in our life right now. Samuel's job is very uncertain and he is not happy where he is at.

Our desire is to be closer to our church and the church members so that means moving AGAIN-ugh. With the hope that we can build some relationships within the church. I believe if it was not for the Baker's we would feel a bit out of place. They have made us feel like part of their family and we are grateful for that.

So in telling you all this- I am asking you all to pray for us!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

AWW-Disco Sweat

I know you are wondering what in the world! Today I started the Richard Simmons excercise tape called disco sweat. It looked so easy. Boy it wasn't! By the time we(Maria,Joey and I) were through the first 15 minutes my legs were burning from the front to the back. The whole time Richard is coaxing you not to give UP. You want to just say SHUT UuuuuuuP. He says you are beautiful and you think yeah right I would not be doing this if I was. As the tape ends and you make it to the cool down you feel like you are about to fall over then comes the stomach crunches. WHAT STOMACH-I have no muscle there and of course Richard continues...1 and 2 and 1 and 2 and keep it up he says...ugh when is this tape going to be done you think, I can not do another thing and he says ok lets stretch to cool down. OH PRAISE THE LORD! You rise slowly feeling great-I did it.
Will it be easier tomorrow?

Monday, January 22, 2007

What a morning

The morning started out well, Noah actually slept from like 10pm till 630 am. Poor baby was so exhausted from the day before. He went back to bed at 8am and slept till 1030 at that point I got up fed him and gave him a bath. That is when it all went down hill. Paul decided to raise his voice at me, Maria jammed a piece of paper in the printer to a point that it is unreachable, and I can not seem to keep it together. What in the world is wrong with me!!

Noah is the joy of my life, but I just am not dealing with the big change well. The lack of sleep, trying to master breastfeeding, and schooling seems to be overwhelming me. It is hard because I feel so alone sometimes. I know I have Melissa here but there are parts me that I can not share with her because she just does not understand. I know my purpose is to serve my sister but there are times when I feel like I am being taken advantage of. I do not think she realizes all that I do. She tries to show her appreciation by buying me things. But that is not really what I want. I want her to appreciate it from her heart.

Being so far from my church is not helping either. The emptiness seems to be filling me from all around. Lord help me seek your face in this time when rest seems be minimal, when I feel taken advantage of help me to understand your purpose and Be with me Lord and give me peace.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Sunday Morning Chaos

Let me preface this by saying that Poor Noah spent the whole night crying and barely sleeping because the doctor changed his formula from a lactose free to a formula that has milk. He cried like he was in pain so I spent most of the night comforting my poor baby.

Anyway- we get up for church in what seems like enough time. My half grown children walk around acting as if they have no idea what to do. Having to be told, to brush their teeth, put their shoes on, eat so we can get ready to leave for church. In the meantime-I am still dealing with the baby and trying to get myself dressed.Dad is getting frustrated because everyone seems to have left their brains in bed or just plum did not care. Joey is running around with no shoes worrying about where is soccer jersey was, instead of getting dressed. Alex decided he was not going to eat breakfast this morning, while Paul is trying to get bottles ready for Noah. Sammy is dressed but still had not eaten. At this point the stress level is rising for Sam and I both. Paul and Joey start to fight over what-who knows! Words between the children keep going back and forth and finally I blow. Letting everyone know how tired I am and NOT IN THE MOOD to deal with their insensitivity and unkindness towards each other. Boy, what a way to go to church. We get in the van-mind you we are leaving late, so that means we will be walking in in the middle of service, which Sam hates(takes 45 minutes to get there). We start down the road, Sam stops to get me a sandwich from McD's for $1.00 since tending to baby left me NO time to eat. At that point he looks at me and says we are going home. I am not walking into the service late and I refuse to go to church in the spirit I am in at this moment. So we turned around and came home.

At home dad assigned Paul the duty of picking worship music. Sammy had to pick a Psalm and he picked Psalm 42. Joey had to pick a Proverb and he picked Proverb 3: 1 and 5. And Sam read us Ephesians 5. All in all it ended up to be a wonderful time in worship and prayer. Bringing peace back to a day that started out so Chaotic.

How many can relate?

Friday, January 19, 2007

Let me tell you what I did

The other night I woke up in the middle of the night with my Aunt Marie, from my biological father's side, on my mind. When I was young, her and I were very close so often times over the years I have thought of her. So I got on the internet and did a mad search for her with No avail but I did find my grandparents on that side. For two days I considered calling them but was unsure because honestly I did not want my biological father to know anything about me. But this feeling that I needed to talk her would not go away. So I called them, and it was great to hear my grandmother's voice. She was so gracious to give me Marie's information. I did briefly get to talk to Marie. She was more shocked to hear from me then happy. What is so sad in this situation is that because of their connection to him, I can not fully trust anyone with my information. As much as I would love to have them back in my life the chance I would be taking is him showing up on my doorstep. It is not myself I am protecting because I no longer fear him, but my children. Their safety is always important to me.
The relationships I have had to give up because of him. I think of the things I have had to miss out on because of Him. Because I truly believe he does not deserve to see his grandchildren because of what he has done. I know that sounds revengeful but it is not in that heart that I say that but it is in the heart of knowing I could never trust him with the most precious things that were given to me to protect, my children! In the meantime I miss these people in my life and feel bad that they have to pay for the sin that my father committed.

Am I wrong?

Thursday, January 18, 2007

God will never leave you

I have been doing a bible study the past few days on encouragement. The words God will never leave you nor forsake you come to heart when I think of my dear friend Celina in the Philipines. As she wakes every day and wonders why I am here. I miss home. I want her to remember these words," I will never leave you or forsake you" He promises you that. His desire for you Celina is for you to seek His purpose in your life, for you to depend fully on Him. In time when you feel lonely, out of place, imagine how out of place our Lord Jesus felt during his time of ministry.Why should it be any different for us? I am so proud of you all, and encouraged. Whatever happened to that quiet, PRIVATE family that did not like to open their doors whetherless their lives to others? I see the change God has done in all of you. The boys who never usually sang now play music and lead. I am in awe of God's work in your lives and I am sure this is just the beginning for you. I anxiously await a post or email from you all to hear what God has done that day for you and to hear about the adjustments you are going through.(I would love to see or hear from the boys as well!- Great to hear each person's perspective) It is an inspiration for me.
Each day as you wake ask yourself "God what good are you desiring to work in me and through me today?"
May my words be an encouragement to you!

I love you all-

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

What a weekend!

The rain started Friday but because of the cold quickly turned to ice. It lasted all night Friday so Saturday we woke to an Ice Wonderland- all the trees were white from the ice and leaning, grass was white but the roads were fine. That was just the beginning they said of this winter storm system that headed our way. The second part hit us Saturday afternoon but was not as bad as the first one. But that is when the Trees started to snap around us. The third part of the storm came on Sunday bringing more rain, sleet and snow this time. As we all hibernated in the house to stay warm, we lost water for a while but were praising the Lord that we still had electric and heat. Missy and Clay lost their electric, as well as thousands in Springfield, Nixa and Ozark, so they were not alone. I cooked a big turkey dinner for us all on Sunday, early just in case the power went out. Missy and Clay and the girls spent most of the weekend with us in the evening because we had power. At night they went home to sleep in the living room in front of their fire place. Monday we all woke wondering what the weather was going to be like. We woke to snow and Lots of tree limbs down in our yard. With each limb came a crash and of course fear that one of those limbs would hit our electrical line or come crashing through the house. Some of the limbs were so big it took Mr. Bill's truck to haul them into a position where Clay, Sam and the boys could cut it up with a chainsaw. That was our adventurous weekend. They are calling for snow here again this weekend. With the weather like this and it taking us 45 minutes to get to church we miss out on Christian fellowship, so pray for us. It is hard to be with out the accountability for that long.

What was the weather like where you are at?

Thursday, January 11, 2007

She is Gone

My best friend is gone. She is now in the Phillipines serving the Lord. The hardest thing for me is to think that I can not pick up the phone and call her and hear her voice. She will always be in my life but to think she is now so far away it pains me. I know they are starting a new chapter in the lives of serving with Carl retired and now them with WayWam-I think that is how you spell it. I do fear for them, their health and well being but I know the Lord will see them through. May the Lord be with her. I look forward to her posts which will be the only voice I have.

Love you Lots Celina May Our Lord be with you!


Monday, January 8, 2007

2 months Already

It amazes me that Noah is 2 months. Time seems to be going so fast. This morning he woke up smiling and cooing. He seems to have so much to say. He tries so hard to vocalize himself.It is so much fun to see him grow and change.

The rest of the Sellers Crew are really trying hard to adjust to mom being preoccupied alot. I do not think they realized how much an infant takes to care for. Of course all of them are so willing to help with him but when it comes to the house, cooking, cleaning or anything else they are not so willing which of course where I need the most help.

Samuel is having a hard time at work. Melissa Sellers brought Sam working with Steven. I truly believe it is his hearts desire to be in a position where he will be appreciated. He is such a hard worker, loyal but not one employer honors, or respects his dedication he has to the job. It is ashame that our society is full of people who do not appreciate their employees. Mr. Sellers says it is not like it use to be and unless the younger generation see value in people it will not change.

I am rambling.. I hope to post a picture of my 2 month old, so look for it.
God bless.

Saturday, January 6, 2007

the beginning of 2007

I can not get over that 2007 is here. I sit back and reflect what 2006 brought. It brought us to Missouri, though we moved Dec of 2005, we spent 2006 discovering Missouri. It brought us to BCF-our church. What a blessing it is. How much we truly love it there. Most of all it brought us Noah. The joy and love of my life. I often look at him not believing he is here and adoring God for blessing me so. I so look forward to watching God work in our live in the year 2007. I pray you will look forward to reading.



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