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Friday, January 19, 2007

Let me tell you what I did

The other night I woke up in the middle of the night with my Aunt Marie, from my biological father's side, on my mind. When I was young, her and I were very close so often times over the years I have thought of her. So I got on the internet and did a mad search for her with No avail but I did find my grandparents on that side. For two days I considered calling them but was unsure because honestly I did not want my biological father to know anything about me. But this feeling that I needed to talk her would not go away. So I called them, and it was great to hear my grandmother's voice. She was so gracious to give me Marie's information. I did briefly get to talk to Marie. She was more shocked to hear from me then happy. What is so sad in this situation is that because of their connection to him, I can not fully trust anyone with my information. As much as I would love to have them back in my life the chance I would be taking is him showing up on my doorstep. It is not myself I am protecting because I no longer fear him, but my children. Their safety is always important to me.
The relationships I have had to give up because of him. I think of the things I have had to miss out on because of Him. Because I truly believe he does not deserve to see his grandchildren because of what he has done. I know that sounds revengeful but it is not in that heart that I say that but it is in the heart of knowing I could never trust him with the most precious things that were given to me to protect, my children! In the meantime I miss these people in my life and feel bad that they have to pay for the sin that my father committed.

Am I wrong?

2 comments:

  1. Hi Angie,
    I think I am having trouble commenting here because I tried to use our junk email when signing up.
    I wanted to tell you I think it took alot of courage to contact your grandmother! And that I will be in prayer for you and for them.
    I think you are wise to keep your information private. For the protection of your family. The Lord knows your heart and I think it was also evident to them when you called. I will be praying for Marie, do you know if she is a believer? I am sure she was shocked to hear from you, remember the enemy has probably turned things around and made you seem like the bad guy, but the Lord is able to reveal Himself & His love for her through you.
    Praise the Lord you yeilded to His prompting to call.
    Trust Him for the next right step.
    Could you give them an email address that is not tied to your physical address?
    Praying for you.
    I sent a reply to your samand angie account yesterday did you get it?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Is it ever wrong to protect your children? If it were a stranger with the same kind of past; would you expose them to him?

    Your obligation is to the children; thats part of convenant. Your God; husband; children. We leave and cleave. You left him over very damaging circumstances, and he lost the privlege to his grandchildren and any information or involvemnt concerning you.

    Your blessed with the family you have now; thank God for that and for the new precious life he gave you.

    Hope this helps. love you!
    Celina

    ReplyDelete

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