Friday, October 26, 2007

I sometimes just can not do it

I woke up this morning, wondering if this is it.......
 Is this what life is all about?
 Is this the way the Lord wants me to live?
 I love HIM so much. I try so hard to show my love, but I am not as good as others want me to be. I do not want to wear a dress-all the time. Every once in a while a pair of pants feels good. Is that "rebellion" as some would say?
 Does it really matter if I wear dresses or not? 
Does God really care about that?
Why do I know think like Sam? 
Why when I try to get quiet time do I get NOTHING out of it? 
I can not "schedule" my spirituality like he does. Most of the time when I try to sit down and have a "quiet - time" I am just reading the words. 
Why? Am I not a believer? 
Do I not have enough faith as he does? Or is it true what the Word says that men are to be the leaders, preachers of their homes, as well as the church. There has got to be a reason for that!! Was it just because God was being chovanistic(sp). I do not believe so- I think it is because we have a spiritual discernment that they(men) do not have. But they have a knowledge of the word, and law, that we do not have. We gain it from them.(right or wrong?)  
I do not know- all I know is I wonder why I am not hungering and thirsting for the Word. Why it does not eat at me- like it does him? What am I doing wrong?

1 comment:

  1. My Sweet Sister Angie,
    I hear your heart.
    You know when I get to feeling like everything I read or do spiritually is dry, it is because I have gotten my eyes off of the prize! It is then that I have to hide myself in the cleft of the ROCK! And ask the Lord to wash me with His word!
    Pr 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
    2Co 10:12 For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.
    Ga 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
    In Christ we have the right to come bodly to His throne and ask the Lord for the needs of our heart, for He knows them before we do. it is the Holy Spirit who brings understanding of Gods word to us. And yes he will use our husbands but our relationship with Christ is to be our first priority, He is the lover of our soul, without whom we have no breath spiritually!
    When I get to feeling the way you have described I have to begin counting my blessings! And asking the Lord to show me my heart! What I usually find is that I have lost my focus, I have let circumstances and schedules take the place of my hearts dependence on Christ for my every need!
    I think it is a struggle that all christians go through, one of the valley's ... and yet our saviour leads us! Now there is hope.
    He leadeth ME! WOW!
    What an awesome God we serve!
    As to the outward what to wear, if you get the inside right God will be able to show you direction for the outward, and he does that through the direction of our husbands.
    I am missing you and praying for you.
    I hope you can make it tonite I think Miss Laura's testimony would be a real blessing to you!


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