Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The more I seek you...

The past few days have been strange.

Side note:Not to mention we spent the weekend without AC- not that we are not grateful that we had a place to go to stay cool, but it is never easy to be in others homes, dependent upon them for shelter. You try to be mindful and considerate since they are putting themselves out for your comfort. We were truly blessed by their selflessness.

Arriving home Monday, waiting for the AC guy to come, we spent the day in a 101 degree house. Do you know that when it is that hot, your fuse is VERY short? Your tolerance level is very low and you just do not want to put up with much more than the uncomfortableness of the heat. That is not a good combination at all!! (very dangerous trust me)

Well back to my strangeness.. I have been feeling very unfulfilled.. not as a wife or a mother. Oh how I love those two jobs. Samuel is so easy, and such a wonderful man to care for, and to help. And my children- well the Lord has truly blessed me! I am unworthy of those blessings! That's not it- I feel so unfulfilled spiritually.. have you ever felt that way? Going to church on Wednesday, Sunday, sunday night just does not seem enough. I do not want to be part of some social club that gathers 3 times a week and thats it but that is exactly what most churches are like. I want the Lord to use me. But I am not sure in what or how? I know we all have gifts but I am unsure what mine are!! So how can I be  used in something I have NO idea what it is? (am I making any sense to anyone out there?)

What is Christianity all about?

What is it for? I know it is not for self glorification, or satisfaction.

How do we find out our gifts and start using them?

Nothing is more fulfilling than knowing you are doing the will and work of the Lord!! Fill me Lord and guide me as I continue to seek you for answers...

Thanks for giving me a listening ear!



  1. So true about not wanting to be a part of a social club that meets 3x a week. It's so much deeper than that.

  2. Been there! More times than I like to admit, but I can understand and relate so well. I'm praying for you.
    I know for me, God has taken those moments and shown me things He wants me to do in the here and now and things to come. I'm still working on the here and now, one day that orphanage I long to have will be a dream come true. My heart is for the children!!! What are you passionate about?

  3. No a/c? Ack! That makes me cranky just thinking about it.

    The Lord using you... being willing and available like you are? That is such an awesome first step! Summer is a slow time at church (we need the rest). There is SO much more crazy busy fun in the fall with the Missions Conference and Masters Club coming up (and Pastors Training School right after the holidays). You should volunteer and work on a table for the Missions Conf. And if you are looking for more than that, I know that God will show you or place the right person/people in your path in which to minister.

    The harvest is plenty but the workers are few. Boy, isn't that true in so many areas of life?


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