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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Fear

As time gets closer for this little one to arrive in this world, all these fears keep trying to creep up. The main one is she going to be healthy? Will she have any problems? Will she have down syndrome?( because as you know I am so OLD and I am having a baby-- sorry for the sarcasm) And how will I handle that? Am I making a mistake having her at home? Will the midwives be able to handle anything?

I keep trying to tell myself that these fears are normal. That no matter what everything will be ok. But have you ever tried to talk yourself out of being afraid... it does not work very well.

I know all things are in the hands of the One who created the universe, the one who stops the ocean in the right spot, and the one who places the moon where it is. I know He is my strength when I am weak. He is my comforter, and my strong tower. And honestly He knows my strengths, weaknesses and knows just what He is doing... so tell me why do I not feel it?

Why do I still allow these fears to capture my heart and almost paralyze me at times? To distract me from what is really important... and that is life! This wonderful perfect little life that continues to grow inside of me. Just her existence is a blessing that Only Christ could give. Why do I do that?? This fear steals my joy, makes me preoccupied with things that out of my control... so why bother?

So dear saints as I come to terms with this fear... will you pray for me? I need your covering!


Angie

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