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Friday, December 14, 2012

Fear...

Hello dear Saints and faithful readers...

This post has been sitting in the back of mind for a few weeks. Ever since my daughter and I had this conversation about what happened a few years ago.. See in late 2004- my beloved husband Sam and I were walking. He never truly liked to do this but he walked with me because after dinner I needed a release. Something to exercise my legs and it was great time for the both of us to talk without the listening ears of all of our homeschooling children.( I know some of you can relate)

As you know in December it is a bit chilly. We were all bundled up and went after dinner in the dusk of the even for a walk. As we were walking we spotted three boys who asked my beloved for the time. Of course he gave them the time, in the back of both of our minds we thought the boys looked suspicious, but neither of us said anything. We continued walking enjoying each others company and discussing what we were discussing when those same boys met us around the block, they had cut through the alley way. This time the oldest youngman pulled out a gun, and pulled my husband off the street into the alleyway. Well I know most women who have froze, started crying or just not said anything... well not me. I was so scared that the fear instantly turned to anger. I WAS SO ANGRY that all I could do was start yelling at them to leave him alone.
The longer he kept my husband captive by that gun the madder I got with truly NO fear for my own life but fear for his. I remember begging the Lord not to take him from me this way. Begging him to keep him save all the while I was screaming at this young man.

Funny how fear creates different reactions in all of us. Most in that situation would have cooperated, which my beloved did at the same time trying to motion to me to stay calm, and watching every move the young man was making. I was never so proud of HIM in my life. His calmness and control has always left me in awe, but never more so than on that day when facing the scariest thing a man can face... a gun.

In my fear my whole motivation was to scream and keep screaming so the whole world would hear and maybe get help. To be sure that this young men knew that though I was scared justice would be served. I remember repeating over and over he has nothing to give you. He has nothing to give you... but he took his wallet, hit him across the face with the butt of the gun to disorient him and ran. When they ran the anger was so great with in me that I yelled," you better run and hide because I will find you" Often if that was bravery or just pure stupidity that escaped from my mouth.

I faced this head on, as I tend to do with everything, cooperating with the police, looking at photos, and describing them to the best of my ability. While my beloved faced this internally. He questioned his manhood, realizing that through his walk with Christ he has always stated he was ready to die but when the moment came, the moment when he was face with death, he was unsure. It rocked him to the core. It rocked him to the very foundation he thought he had.

 See in it the Lord was glorified. Though I reacted in anger, the Lord decided that day was not the day for me or Sam. We both stand to testify of His mercy and grace today. In each of us it brought out a different reaction in my beloved, he has spent the last 7 years realizing the evil depravity of this world and never wanting to be vulnerable to it again. For me it showed me that my fear ignites in me a flame.

1 Peter 3:14" But even if you should suffer for righteousness, you are blessed. Do not fear what they fear or be distrurbed"


Love In Christ Angie

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Spiritual Warfare...

Lately I have felt the spiritual warfare going on for the souls of my children. I wish I could say that I was very diligent on praying as I should for them, their souls, and who they encounter, but I dont. The heaviness of see my heart seeing them struggle with what is right when it comes to relationships. The examples they have are this world and it is all around them.

It is hard to stand up, to stand strong for your faith, to be different and in all be lonely and long for that companion to live the rest of your life with. But truth be told shouldnt this be the time that you spend the most time in prayer? The most time in the word, the most time serving the body of Christ in one way or another? Filling the void, and loneliness with things of Christ and not allowing temptations, and distractions to keep you from the path the Lord would have.

As a parent it is so hard to watch your child struggle in that place, but truly they must come to a place walking with Christ on their own. Eventually you have to take their hand and place in the hands of our Lord Jesus knowing that you have given them all He would have you teach them and allow Him to lead them in their walk with Him.

Lord give me strength as I continue to guide them back to you, your Word so that they may live righteously for you.

My joy is your joy ,Lord, to see them bring forth seed for your kingdom, to stand for righteous in the hard times, and to rejoice in your presence.

Angie....

 

Friday, November 2, 2012

Loving as she grows..

One of the most amazing things about being a bit older and having a little one is relishing the stages she goes thru. With my older 5, life was so busy I could barely think whether less enjoy their various stages.

Now that I have time, I love watching her work on trying to walk and listen to her try to talk. Today she tried to say book. She works on signing new words every day and she loves the ABCs so we are often singing that song to her.



What a blessing to have her in my life....



Thank you Jesus

Angie



Friday, October 19, 2012

Amazing...this is why I homeschool.

I have been homeschooling my children since 2nd grade.(Maria and Joey) Noah is my first that I have schooled from the beginning. I taught him his ABC's, and his sounds of the letters so this week I decided, we have been doing ABC's for over a month, to try to see if he could do this phonic program I purchased just for him. Everyone I have ever known has done 100 easy lesson to read, well I tried it and I did not like it. So I purchased this phonics, so we did the beginning that reviewed the letters sounds, then we went onto the first lesson... "at". As I sat there reviewing the words with him it was amazing to watch him realize as he did the sounds of the letters it created words, like "fffff aaa tttt" made fat. It was like watching a light bulb go on in his head when he put it together. I loved it. It was an important moment in my homeschooling years, an amazing moment. For the rest of the week we reviewed at, an, and today we did ap. He has correctly and easily read two stories. It has been such an exciting week for us both in homeschooling.

 

 

 

 

 

I thought you would all enjoy seeing him in action:

 

 

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

October Baby




I have been wanting to watch  this movie for so long. Though honestly I did not really know what it was about except abortion. I thought it was like every other abortion movie. Girl gets pregnant, guy runs away, girl thinks about getting rid of unwanted baby.

No this is not what this story was about. This one was different. This one was about the unwanted baby, the one that actually survives the abortion. (I wont give the whole movie away)

Needless to say as I sat here watching the movie my heart started to hurt. The tears started to flow because of my own experience, my own murderous(as my daughter stated) sin. For those of you who do not know me, who do not know my story, who do not know my sin, this might just come as a surprise but for those few special people in my life and in my heart you know this story, but do not know the occasional pain I carry because of that sin.

At age of 18 years old, in my lost and sinful state I aborted my first child. I could go on and share with you all the excuses of why but the truth is still the same, and the sin is still the same.

I sat here with tears wondering if that little one suffered, knowing what I had done. It has been 24 years since I had done this and occassionally in those 24 years my thoughts wonder on what it would have been, a boy or girl. I think of how naive I was to believe the lies that were told to me...

1. its ok- it not a baby

2. its just cells

3. there is no life there yet

4. it wont feel a thing

All lies!! All things to comfort me, to aide me in that sin. Since then all those lies have been proven to me over and over through having my other children that they were lies. What an evil it is in this world.

I wish there was some way I could tell that precious life, that precious baby how truly sorry I am. I wish there was some way I could turn back the hands of time, with the knowledge that I have now to safe that precious gift. But I can't.

I know that My Lord has forgiven me of ALL my sins, and has washed me white as snow. I wonder do I have a right to forgive myself? (oh wretched soul that I am.)

Lord ,thank you,you are my hope and my salvation. Thank you that though I have done such wretched things you have forgiven me. Help me to forgive myself, and bring you glory in my life.I rejoice in the fact that you have entrusted me with more of your heritage and may I bring them all up in the fear and admonition of You.


Love In Christ Angie

Monday, October 15, 2012

time....

Where does the time go really? This past few weeks we have celebrated 4 birthdays. Maria who turned 17 years old..- it seems like yesterday that I brought her into this world. I sat frozen not believing that the doctor stated that it was a girl.

 

 

Joseph turned 16 years old-- what a crucial age where I am watching my little boy turn into a man before my eyes

 

My baby turned 1 years old-- she is trying to walk, communicating with sign language as well as words. She is busy and loves to be held.

 

My biggest baby turned 22 years old. Many people are floored when I share I have a 22 year old they are shocked. I am sometimes shocked that he is 22.

Time goes too fast and is so precious. We blink and it is gone. I often reflect and wonder what they will remember most about me, about family times,and their childhood. Will they be joyous?Will they understand how much their dad and I loved them? Will they know How much we wanted to show them how to live for Christ?

Only the Lord knows for sure.

Angie

 

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

the school year has begun

This season has been a busy one. The children have survived the crazy ungodly Hershey park. Not without any scars though. They can say it was truly an experience for sure especially for Joey.

Little baby turned 11 months this past week. The changes she is going through is amazing. She tries to say words. It is so cute. I love these begining stages.


We started Homeschooling, back to traditional way of doing it. Cyber schooling was good for a season, but did not provide the spirituality that I wanted for them. I believe Maria and Joey are glad that we are traditionally schooling. They dont have to sit in front of a computer for hours. I have also started Noah.. He is learning currently, the months of the year, days of the week, the date of each day, writing his name, and reviewing his alphabet to be sure he knows them well before we move on to phonics.

 
Maria with English :)


 

 

Joe didnt want his picture taken

Noah doing his alphabet cards :)

 

 

Looking forward to what this year will bring us spiritually as well as mentally...

 

be blessed dear ones but most of all be a blessing

 

Angie

 

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Featured Couple over at a Wife's Heart...


Featured couple for the Month of August over at a Wife's Heart...
This is the blog post I wrote... Enjoy

Hello Dear Wives-- My name is Angie Sellers- I am married to my beloved Samuel. We have been married for 20 years.( wow when I see that number I am amazed it has been that long and that we have made it.)

When I saw the post on a Wife's heart about the featured couples, and saw the questions she asked I thought," yes that is definitely Sam and I"

I met Samuel through a mutual friend in a time of my life that I was uncertain about everything. Samuel was in the Navy and I had gotten out of the Navy. At first we were just friends, there were no emotions(at least for me) He was such a breathe of fresh air. He was unlike any man I had ever met, he made me laugh, he made me feel good about myself and helped me to see how good life could be. Even though I was unsure of my emotions and was not sure if I could trust how I felt because of the pain I had experienced but I knew I could not live without him in my life.

So began the happily ever after, right? NO-- actually so began the true challenges in my life. Little did I know this person I loved being with, and loved being with me was going to hurt me and I him.

See,very quickly did the baggage of our past set into our relationship. I came from an abusive home physically and sexually, he came from an alcoholics home which was also abusive physically. Trust was an issue for me in every area. Relating to one another was a strain and my beloved had issues setting boundaries with his extended family. All of these issues along with other fleshy struggles started to put a strain on me and our marriage. After trying to face each problem head on and directly and being shut down, pushed away and in some cases told it was his problem not mine. I gave up. I gave up on him, on us and our marriage.

I wish I could say we were able to overcome these issues quickly, but it took a while. It took years to be exact. Though we hurt each other more than any two people could and most people in our situation would have walked away from each other it was our commitment to Christ that kept us together.

As time went on and as we both grew in our faith, we were we able to tackle each issue together. There were moments of great tears, confession and asking for forgiveness. Christ is able to bring true restoration to His children. He brought restoration to my marriage. There is nothing hidden between my beloved and I, and though it hurt us both and we both remember how much the one hurt the other, the one thing I remember my beloved saying to me when I was confessing my part in our marriage was, " how can I not forgive you, when I have been forgiven" These words will stay with me forever. I came to realize that my beloved's love was a true example of the greatest love that walked this earth. Christ spread his arms, and died for me because He wanted me to be forgiven. So my beloved forgave me of the sins I committed against us and our marriage because of that same sacrifice.

Christ is able if you are willing to humble yourself to Him.

Love In Christ

Angie



Trying to prepare and be motivated...

Lately I have been trying to prepare myself mentally, as well as spiritually for this new school year.
This year will be the first year in the state of PA that I will be homeschooling Maria and Joseph, with Noah traditionally. I will be honest after no doing it for 1 1/2 years and never doing it in the state of PA I am a bit intimidated. I worry about the state and whether I will meet all of their "requirements" but what I should really be intimidated by is NOT meeting my Lord's expectations/requirements that He has for me. I have not been faithful as I should have been. In so many ways I see have failed.. but as always the Lord shows me grace and gives me another opportunity.. He shows me mercy and I pray He will strengthen me...

So I ask you all to pray for me as well. That through my actions I will bring glory to my savior as I bring up Godly Seed for his glory.

On a lighter note.. we took family photos and they turned out pretty nicely...




When I look at these I know that my time is limited... they are all growing so fast.



Love In Christ Angie

Saturday, July 21, 2012

No Experience Necessary

 

It amazes me in reading some of these large blogs with several contributing writers how there are writers based on what? Very little to NO experience.Yes some of them are great at writing but based on the theme of the blogs they have no experience in life, very minimal in raising children and have not been married for very long.

These scriptures of instruction ring through my ears often as I read blogs like that...

Titus 2:3-5

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Where are the older women who are to teach the younger? Does this standard not exist in the blogging world? What does a young mom,whose children have not even started schooling yet, who has only been married for like 5 years have to show a mom who has been married 20 years and has grown children, teenagers and young ones all in the same house. I am not saying I couldn't learn something, if you are open to the working of the Holy Spirit, the Lord is always at work. But geez-- really,where are the older women? Or is it like everything else we compromise, " so we can be sure we reach all ages"?

I am going to get up on my soapbox for a little bit. I have no problem reading blogs of younger women, with less experience and younger children, but with these large teaching blogs, well let me say I am the age I am because of time, and I know what I know because of experience, and I have the wisdom that I have because of both of the above. I am stepping off the soapbox now....

What criteria do you have? Does it match up to scripture?

 

A Servant of Christ,

Angie

 

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Stop and Pray with the MOB Society


#mobsociety

Having boys can be challenging to a mama in every way possible. It hurts our hearts sometimes. How do you pray for your sons? do you pray just for protection? or do you pray they stay out of trouble?

I pray for more than that for my sons. I desire for their hearts to live for the Lord. I desire for them to not be part of the status quo. Exceptional men of God is what I am rearing, and praying for. Men who love the Lord and go as far as die for Christ if need be. Men who are leaders of their homes, wash their wives in the Word, and disciple their children to love the Lord with all their hearts.

Isnt much to ask is it??  Nothing is hard for the Lord!

So tell me what do you pray for?



A Servant of Christ
 Angie

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Whisperings

Some of you know I have lots of children. Seven to be exact, and most of them are older and Most of them are young men except for one boy.  


Lately one of my youngmen have been struggling. He works at an amusement park, and is around people all day long who standards, or morals do not quite match what we(through God's grace) have tried to instill in him. All day long he is whispered at about what he should have, and what he should be doing at "his age". 


Today while reading the Word these verses stood out....




Proverbs 23

15 My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine.
16 Yea, my reins shall rejoice, when thy lips speak right things.
17 Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the Lord all the day long


His heart started to "envy" what these whisperers were saying to him and started to feel like he has been missing out on something in life. 


Really? 
How do we envy sinners? 
How do we as professing believers say "I want what they have" or " I wish my life was like theirs" 
Truth be told if we are asking for their lives(and sin) then we are also asking for the same judgement they will face some day when Our Savior returns to this world. 


How we so easily forget....
Romans 6
23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.


People make sin sound and look so appealing. Of course, they do not want to go it alone. Be Careful dear sweet son, keep your eyes open and your ears peeled to those whisperings and realize who it is really speaking, and who it is really tempting you away from the path the Lord has for you!


Ephesians 6
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might

11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;


Be strong my sweet youngmen for we are not reaching for things that are temporal but we are reaching for things that are eternal! 

In Christ I Serve,
Mom/Angie

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

MOB Society 2012 blog Hop

 

Hello MOB Society moms...

 




 
 
 
Welcome to my blog..
 
My name is Angie.
 

 

I am a daughter of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords Jesus Christ. Wife to my beloved, Godly leader of a husband Samuel, mother to 7 Warriors for Christ. Five of those warriors are boys, and I have two precious princesses. I have been blogging for about 6 years. My blog is about my walk with Christ, my life, and my family.

I don't have a business or products to sell. I just have experience and wisdom from living my life with 5 men/children. My boys ages are 21,20,19,15 and 5 years.

I never encouraged my kids to play video games. I encouraged more physical activity. I am a firm believer that boys need to expend as much energy as possible. Soccer was our sport of choice. Everyone played soccer and they even refereed for a few years

I am hoping that by y'all visiting my blog you will find it to be worth your time and you will be blessed by my experiences.

Visit TheMobsociety.com for Mothers of Boys blogs... I am sure it will be a blessing to you.

Love In Christ

Angie

 

Friday, July 13, 2012

Modesty

Modesty seems to be a big issue among Christians. Most woman do not follow modesty nor do they know how because of the standards set by society. All they care about is how they look and what is in fashion.

Truth be told women, we are a stumbling blocks to our Christian brothers by not covering ourselves.

Here is a link to an article written by Stacy McDonald. She answers the question " Can't you tell me what to wear?"

Ladies Against Feminism




May the grace of Our Lord Jesus be with you as you discover His truth.

His Humble Servant

Angie

Friday, June 22, 2012

7 days of Hope for a Weary Mom- Day 7

 

 

 

Yes I did it.. 7 days... I made it thru..it took me a little longer but I did all 7 posts and you know what each day spoke to me and today is no different.

The title to this chapter was titled " When life hurts too much"

The author starts off by talking about a loss of a child from the womb. She does not go into detail of the situation, but she speaks about this moment when she was sitting in church surrounded by children, newborns, and expected mothers and she closed her eyes to shut out all the new life and joy that seemed to surround her and she realized she had her hand on her stomach. In that moment she whispered " I miss you" to that child she had lost.

1.It’s easy to say we believe God is good and that He always wants our best, but when the difficult times come
the truth of what we really believe often says something totally different.
Have you ever experienced a time when you questioned everything you knew to be true about God?


My heart knows that kind of pain, that loss of a life. I also know the doubts that go through your mind about the Lord that come with that pain. The doubts that whether or not He is truly God,if He was and He says He loves me why would he let something like a miscarriage happen to someone who wanted the blessing he bestowed? All the whys flood your heart, and you wonder what you could have done differently?


2. Have you decided that Jesus holds the words of eternal life?

As I wept for my loss,for the life that no longer lived within me I prayed for an understanding which never really came. What I did receive was a peace knowing that though I did not know why, He knew, and He was the creator and as fast as that life was given it could be taken. Each day we receive to live our lives is a gift given to us to fulfill His will and bring Him glory and honor.


3.What does that mean when life doesn’t go the way you want it to go?

It means that I have another opportunity to praise Our Lord Jesus and He gives me another opportunity to respond and grow closer to Him...

Ladies yes I am a weary Mom but I can't imagine how heavy my weariness would be if I did not have my Lord and Savior to guide me and give me strength.

 

Rejoicing in Him

Angie




 

Thursday, June 21, 2012

7 days of Hope for a Weary Mom- Day 6

Ok I know if you look at the dates you will see I am few days behind... Well more than a few but I decided no matter what I was going to see this thru.

 

This chapter " Sometimes it takes an Alter" reminds me of my own testimony.. I won't get into all the details.(I will save that for another day another post) Anyway, I was a young mom, all my children were young and I was so unsure and depression,sadness, even anger controlled my life. Till one day I came to the alter...there in my flowing wailing tears I found true release and felt the presence of our Lord. So yes sometimes in the deepest most desperate,weariest time..you must come to the alter to find true relief.

Have you ever just wanted to walk away? No in most weariest( I know not a word) moments I have clung to the Cross.

Stacey and Brooke both have family members who walked away when the weariness became too much. What has kept you from leaving in the past? Knowing that I can not do things in my own strength and I am weary because I keep trying to do it my way.


Some people think the only place where you can find an altar is at church. But that’s not true!


  1. God, because of Jesus, is available anywhere, anytime to His people! If there’s something you need to confess, something that’s weighing on your heart or keeping you from experiencing joy in your life, quiet yourself where you are and talk to God about it. Where can you go in your house (or anywhere else) that can double as an altar?
Lord I ask that you forgive me for doing things in my own understanding, for relying on myself and not seeking your face as I should. Lord I am weary.... But you are the giver of strength, you make all things new. Restore unto me a fresh outlook, help me Holy Spirit to seek first the Kingdom of heaven and His righteousness....to God be the Glory- Amen

 

Seeking His Kingdom

Angie

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

7 days of Hope for a Weary Mom- day 5

Ok take two... Ugh.. All the words seem to just flow and now I need to start all over because I lost it so Lord help those words to come to me again....

 

"WHEN YOU JUST WANT TO GIVE UP" was the title to this chapter and boy did the words just seem like I was speaking them...

She starts out by saying..." a mother's heart labors over her children. Pulling, tugging, coaxing,dragging,pushing,begging...all in the name of love" That is exactly how I have been feeling, how I have felt for at least the last ten years.

" those of us who really look see our children not just as they are but as they can be, might be one day." Yes those words ring so true...that's it... If only. If only they understood or just knew...that " Mothering demands body,soul,mind, and heart" Mothering is not for the weak hearted, it takes strength and courage. Why courage? Courage because you go in knowing that you will never be so hurt or wounded by anyone or anything as you can be by your children. The hurt can run so deep that you wonder if that aching in your heart will ever go away. On the same token you will never experience so much happiness, your heart will feel like it will burst from those same children. So it is not for the weak hearted.

Have you ever felt like Peter did after that night of fishing?

Yes numerous of times... I have wanted to just give up because I just couldn't and still can't see why...But sometimes the things of the Lord are not for our feeble minds to understand.

Ever wondered how in the world you would ever find the strength to try one more time?

My little voice inside reminds me that the Lord has not and will not ever give up on me.... That is what keeps me stepping forward and sometimes when I am on my face it's my beloved husband who bends down, dusts me off and allows me to lean on him. Which is a physical manifestation of what the Heavenly Father does for me.


What does “God meeting you in your mess” mean to you?

He meets me right in the midst of my messy, unruly heart to help me to find peace.

Do you expect God to change your environment, or to get it in with you, giving you the tools you need to make it?

I expect from my Lord what the Words says..." Seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be open"


Are you ready to proclaim to the world that you will never give up on your family and never give up on God’s ability to work in the hearts of your children?


First and foremost I will never give up on my Lord... As He leads I will follow. He has lead me to be a wife and mother, and I will continue in that task...even when I am weak, seeking strength from Him and moving forward even when it seems like I am going backwards.

 

I am on this boat till the Lord takes me home or He returns again...

Angie

 

Monday, June 18, 2012

7 days of Hope for a Weary Mom-Day 4

Well I have not been as diligent as I would have liked on this 7 days of Hope... But I am going to keep chugging along...This chapter I really could not relate with because there are a few times I have ever been without my children. I have never ever been to a spa.

 


What things do you love to do to relieve stress? I like to read and I love to sew and crochet so those things are my stress relievers


 


How often do you retreat into the comfort of God’s Word?

Not often enough... But I am learning:)

 

 


When you are feeling bone-weary like Stacey describes in this section, how does it affect your homeschool?

If I am bone weary yes i take a break. How productive am I if I keep going inspite of my weariness...NOT VERY!


 

But you know there are times when I wonder if getting away for a short period with no phone, Internet or connection to the outside world would be just what I need to restore my weary soul but then those responsibilities and guilt sets in of even thinking that way... How about you?

 

 

 

Angie

 

Thursday, June 14, 2012

7 days of Hope for a Weary mom- Day 3

 


  • 1. Where do you usually turn for relief? Can you relate to the story Brooke shared in this chapter of feeling completely overwhelmed?
When I was a younger mother I turned to my friends for relief when I was overwhelmed.... I am not a young mother with 5 young ones 5 and under. Now those 5 are 21,20,18,16, and 15. I search for relief in scripture and sometimes I find that peace in Him right away and other times, I have to search harder.

  • 2. Have you gotten to the place of total breakdown? What did it look like for you?
    Yes I have and it was not a pretty sight. It involved lots of yelling and crying... Now when that feeling of being overwhelmed comes over me my heart starts to hurt because I know I have failed again.
Now I have two more little ones... One is 5 and the other is 8 months and I am trying to figure out how I can make things right for them so I don't make the same mistakes.

 

Desperately seeking Christ

 

Angie

7 days of Hope for a Weary Mom- Day 2

 

 

Yes already I am behind... What else is new.....

  1. Do you have areas of your life where you constantly struggle?
Where do you want me to start...really.. Let me see laundry is always a pile, my room could use some attention and so could my sunroom. There are days when I am on the ball but lately those days have been few and far in between.


..Maybe your dishes are piled sky high, or your laundry looks like a small mountain. When you look at those visible signs of struggle, what are the first words that pop into your head?




Ugh there is just not enough time in the day!




  1. If God were telling you how to feel about yourself based on those areas of struggle, would His voice be the same as the one you hear in your mind?
No most likely not!


  1. How often do you catch yourself comparing your home, job, income, or parenting to someone else?
Very few times have I compared my home... We are a different family. A family who try to live for the Lord and our home functions differently.




So day two was about measuring up... My issue is measuring up spiritually. I know that I don't measure up in so many ways and wonder why my Lord decided to use me to raise Godly seed. In so many ways I have failed Him. Many times I feel that failure so deeply when my children make mistakes and then I wonder where I went wrong :(




Stick around

LEts see what day 3 has to hold.




Angie

 

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

7 days of Hope for a Weary Mom



Day 1(take 2)

I have written this blog twice so by the Lords grace... I won't lose it again...

Mob society and Hope for a weary mom are hosting 7 days of Hope for a weary mom.


  1. What does weary look like in your home? Describe the physical as well as emotional toll weariness takes on you.

  1. Weary for me has been such a heaviness in my soul and aching in my heart, a wondering why?My heart aches because what I see in my children, the decisions they make or not make scare me, I am worried and unsure of why I have done what I have done for the last 10 years.( homeschooling, devotions with themU each day, prayer as a family on our knees...) I wonder what is all for? Why care? Why make all the sacrifices when they get old enough all they do is sin, justifying their sin by your mistakes? Why even try to live in righteousness for our Lord?
  2. Ten years ago the Lord brought revelation in our lives, a renewing of our minds through the Word and realization that living for Him meant alot more than just going to church on Sunday. We also came to a place in realizing that we were releasing our children to Ceasar each day, allowing the ungodly philosophies to be embedded in their souls and trying to counteract it with a total of 4-5 hours of " church" a week. If you do the math you will realize we were losing the battle. So the journey began of homeschooling and installing the Word of God in them each day. Now I have three that have graduated, I have 5 children that work outside of our home and I am scared. I am scared because I see them making decisions or not speaking up for the righteousness that we, through the Word of God, have tried to instill in them. It has made me wonder why all the sacrifice if they are going to forsake all? Why be on my knees? Why be different than this world if the result is no different than whose eyes are not open? My heart is aching and my soul is weary....
Where do you turn first for comfort and relief?

I turn to the Word of the Lord for comfort because there is no where else to turn. I have no one around me I can share things with so on my knees and at the feet of Jesus I go

 

Praying this journey will bring me comfort....so will you join me on this walk for the next 7 days?

 

Angie

 

Sunday, May 20, 2012

A friend loves no matter what....

Lately I have felt like I have no "real" friends (except of course my Beloved and my children) around me... Don't get me wrong I have friends( Celina,Lanie) who are just a phone call away but I am talking about a friend that is with me through thick and thin. Through my straight forward ,honest not intending to offend ways, and will love me and truly knows my heart. Who will walk with me through every day life and who loves me at all times and loves me like a sister.

A friend loves at all times,and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17 ESV)

This scripture seeps to my bones, to my very soul. With realizing their is someone in my life that has decided they no longer want to speak to me, without an explanation, without giving me an opportunity to correct my offense or to even give a chance to ask for forgiveness has made me realize two things.

1. Their are those who say they love you but truly do not.

2. I must always remember to be forgiving!

Why the second because this scriptures ring in my ears

If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld." (John 20:23 ESV)

bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. (Colossians 3:13 ESV)


"Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; (Luke 6:37 ESV)


I never want the Lord to withhold forgiveness from me because I am unwilling to forgive someone.

To me the scriptures are life and breath and give me guidance when I don't know where to turn.

 

So to those whom I have offended please forgive me.

 

May you find grace and love to love me.

Angie

 

Saturday, May 19, 2012

When did I become the older woman?


There was a time when I sat in a room with a group of women that I was one of the younger ones if not the youngest in the room but just recently I have noticed a transition occurring. A transition that I am unsure whether I am happy about or not. I have now transitioned to being one of the oldest women within the room. When did that happen?

 

It seems like yesterday all my children were little and I was seeking advice and counsel from those older women on how to rear them Godly. Now I am the one with the older children, now I hear myself passing on experience and trying to give encouragement and wisdom.... Oh my when did I become the older woman??!!! Where did the time go?? In a blink my Paul went from being 5 to 21 years old.

It is not a lie or an understatement or even a joke when they say "time goes in a blink of an eye"....

 

Angie

 

Friday, May 18, 2012

Stuck between two worlds

about 10 years ago we started the journey of homeschooling. In the journey we have come to realize that Homeschooling was not just a way to school our children but a way to live. I know there are some who wonder why we decided to go this route for our lives, for our children lives to school our children at home? Why do that with perfectly good public schools?
I realized when my 21 year old was younger ( not young enough) I was fighting something. Something I could not see, we faithfully took our children to church and in this season they were in children's church, we were involved in adult group, and served. Yes we were the traditional Christian family till one day the Lord showed me there was more to my walk than what I was walking. It was more than going through the motions each day. In my children I saw the struggle of knowing what was right and trying to put that into action and still be "liked" within the public school. It reminds me of
"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." (Romans 7:15 ESV)
Each day it became a battle to keep the hearts of my children and to help them to live for the Lord. Then one day I realized that the very thing I was fighting is the very thing we all fight each day... satan. And I was expecting my innocent, ill equipped children to fight as warriors against the enemy in his own domain on his terms. It was setup for failure so homeschooling allowed me to equip my children, surrounding them, protecting and equipping them with the only thing I know will defeat the enemy, the Word of God.
Now that they are older I still see them struggling some do better standing on the Rock of the Word and others seem to be struggling and stuck between two worlds... As a believer we can't be stuck between two worlds. We must decide which world we prefer or the decision will be made for us because one world will stand out in us over the other world.

My heart grieves because I feel defeat, I see the affects of the world within my children and wonder in the end where they will end up in their hearts for Christ. Will all we have done to raise them up in Him be for nothing?

Lord give me strength to continue to guide each of these souls no matter age and bring YOU glory.
Angie

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

25 Random things about me....

Well one of my favorite craft blogs (Gleeful things)posted a post on 25 random things about herself so I thought I would give it a whirl myself.

1. I have been married for 19.5 years. Just seeing that number amazes me.

2. I have 7 wonderful children. I feel so much joy when they are all in the same room laughing and talking

3. I love photography and pictures.

4. I love caramel

5. I love coffee, but my beloved calls it dulce de coffee-- because I love lots of cream and sugar. It has to look like caramel or it's not right :)

6. I hate the feel of fleece. I hate touching it.. I can't even explain how weird it feels to me

7. I hate practical jokes... I don't find people purposely doing things to me as funny

8. I have a very low self esteem. I see a very ugly person with terrible hair in the mirror. My beloved makes me feel gorgeous no matter what.

9. I have no idea how to decorate. I love the way women decorate their homes but I have no idea how to do it.

10. I love to paint, house, furniture or whatever but I am not any good at it. When I tell my beloved I am going to paint he quickly takes over

11. I hate mouthy, disrespectful children.

12. I hate garage sales. Another man's junk is another man's treasure. I never find treasure.

13. I hate shopping.. Unless it is in a craft store.

14. I have a hard time with written directions unless it is driving directions. So I learn really well by watching so when I want to learn a new craft I google it:)

15. I love to cook.if given a recipe I never follow it completely. I tend to change it.

16. I can't bake. I am not very good at it. I follow recipes and am scared to be too creative with it as I am with cooking.

17. I love homemade bread.. I am not successful making it. It never wants to rise:(

18. I absolutely hate the dentist. The thought of their tools make me cringe! Though I know they are a necessity.

19. I am totally fascinated with fixing cars. I would love to take a class or to on how to fix and engine :)

20. I am a techno nut. I love the latest and greatest techie things. (iPad, computers, phones etc)


21. I love to talk.. I wonder if it is because I don't remember doing alot of it as a kid.( I sucked my thumb so that was always in my mouth)


22. I love seafood!

23. I love to go to the tanning bed.. I love the warmth, and the 15 minutes of solitude I get!

24. I cherish my relationship with my girl. She is so dear to my heart. I reflect on what my life will be like when she gets married :(

25. Most important thing about me is-- I am follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. I was saved at 22 years old and have been trying to live my life to bring glory to His name...

It is not always so easy coming up with 25 things about yourself... Try it out

Angie

Monday, March 19, 2012

Life... appreciating it.

Every Once in a while I get very melancholy and begin to reflect on what is important to me. My family, my brother, sisters, and in laws and in it all I realize I am just so very blessed. My life is so full of love. My children show me love, respect and honor more so than I showed to my parents at their age. Does that mean I did something right? No it just shows you how blessed I really am. How for some reason God decided to show favor to this wretched soul. I often wonder why?! Why me? It is healthy to reflect regularly on the blessings in your life because of life, time passing so quickly I think we just take advantage of people around us.Love In ChristAngie

Friday, February 3, 2012

Wonder what it is like.....

As I sit here and watch my sweet angel who turned 4 months yesterday... I often wonder what it is like to not be able to pick something up when you want to, to sit up without assistance or even to just talk. 
I watch her struggle to learn to do these things and the whole time I just wonder what is going through her sweet little head.

How frustrating it must be. I know she doesn't know any better but I see how she just is so determined. At the same time it hurts me, makes me so sad to think she is growing so fast. I keep thinking pretty soon she will be crawling, pretty soon she will be walking, talking-- makes me want to cry. 

In past few weeks words have come to me, things to talk about, things to share but it seems like I just have not had the moments to put thoughts to the keyboard.

We are moving... yes I know everyone is probably shocked, but its a short move. Even though my heart hurts a little to be leaving this little house, it is where the Lord granted me another child, and the place I gave birth to the angel from heaven. But you know with babies come alot of things, playpen,crib, swing, playgym and with all these things we need space and unfortunately there is not an expand button to a house.(I wish) 


As for family life- well we went through a phase with one of mine.. ugh sometimes I wonder why! But I praise the Lord for the opportunity to always cleanse our home! For more opportunities to bring glory to his name in our Home.

On other news- my beloved has been approached to be an Elder/Leader of our church. So please pray- because Samuel has been approached before and takes this very seriously. His heart is always for his family, being sure they are discipled and spiritually healthy. He takes the role as father, leader, husband seriously as well as serving the church. My prayer is that the Lord show him that he can balance both. He is truly a man of God!

Reia and I started a new bible study - James by Beth Moore. I am excited to see what the Lord will do in both of hearts through this study. so stand by....

Angie

 

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