Thursday, June 27, 2013

a place between anger and extreme hurt

We have been in a constant season with my Eldest son- always wondering and waiting for him to manifest in his life, live out from his heart the words that come out of his mouth. We have trained him, guided him, given him the Word of God no different any of the other children but something never connected his heart to these Words.. The fruit of his life has only for season, like a cycle constantly going round and round, would he manifest fruit and just when we think he is heading in the right direction, just when we think ok, he's got this, he is good He is back to square one. WHY WHY WHY??

My heart is breaking dear saints, breaking because all these years, the very thing I have fought to bring into my son's heart he has chosen to forsake. He has chosen to walk away from his family, the biblical standards, and deceive others around him.

I want to just scream!

I don't want to feel! I don't want to care! I want to turn it off. I want it to go away!! Because in it all- I have to examine myself and say "Where did I got wrong?"

" Where did I fail you Lord?" and live knowing I have failed him in the most important way and that is having my children live in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

Please forgive me Lord!

Solo para la gloria de Dios

Love In Christ Angie

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