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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

giving up

Many of you who follow my blog are believers in Christ Jesus. So the story of Hannah is not unfamiliar to you. Hannah was a woman who was barren and was taunted by the second wife. The torment each day, and each year this woman endured. I can only imagine year after year she poured out her heart to God, pleading, and crying but this year was different ,this year Hannah made a vow that if she was to have a son she would give the son to the Lord and that she would be sure he never cut his hair.

This is a woman who desperately desired a child and was willing to give the child up for just the experience of having a child. Her love for the Lord was so great that she was willing to give the baby to the Lord if He would give her one.

Parents are you willing to do that?. In the wake of our trial as I reflect on the fears, uncertainties and all the emotions, my mind often came to this, Hannah so willing to give her child to the Lord. As a momma this question was posed to me in the midst of the trial- "will you still worship Him and love the Lord if they do remove babygirl from your home?"

Those words were like a stab to my heart and I sat there with no true words, but a broken heart not knowing what I would do or how I would react. Truth be told we say the right things, and act like good Christians till the trial of a life time comes. Then the reaction is to retreat, close yourself off, maybe even turn to sin for comfort. Lord I praise you- thank you for your presence because through this trial that is not what we did. We did not retreat, we begged our brothers and sisters to pray and though at times I struggled to pray, the Word of the Lord bombarded my heart mind and soul to give me comfort. My beloved husband that at loss because this trial was beyond our control and he could not fix this, he walked around aimlessly unsure what to do with him, sick to his stomach constantly, but he sought comfort in our Lord.

As a bible study we have trudging along in 1 Peter and 1 Peter came alive in my life through this trial. Suffering, trials, and loss are what we are to endure in this life. It is all over scripture. There is a misconception in believing that enduring means we smile, and act happy. One wise sister told - Angie being a good Christians doesn't mean your feelings go away. Doesn't mean you don't have fears, doubts, and wonder but it is what you do with that that shows your faith. Do you cry out to the Lord?

To often giving up or giving in to sin is the answer we run to in time of trials because we bare the trial alone.

Thank you saints of Christ for your prayers, because your prayers brought comfort when I could not find it, peace and strength when I did not have any.

Lord you are worthy to be praised. Thank you Father for hearing our prayers, and those who prayed for us. Let us use what you have shown us about ourselves, and this experience to teach others and to bring glory to your name.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Behind closed doors...

Lately I have been reflecting, looking out the window at our neighbors homes. Behind each closed door is another world. A world no one knows of and a life no better translated than those who live there.

At looking at all these closed doors, that we use for protection to keep people out, to keep the bitter cold out, and that we find safety behind; Each door opens to a place that if you are welcomed in brings you to another world.

Behind those doors are lives, people, families, children and animals. People live behind those doors, and we don't know those people. In not knowing we don't know what each one of those families are enduring at this "season". I sit looking and wondering what it is they are facing. What pain are they enduring, what challenges are they facing, and are they believers in Jesus Christ?

Our door is no different than any of our neighbors, we close it for protection, we close it to keep out the bitter cold, and we feel safe behind it, except as of late. We don't feel safe behind this closed door. Someone has decided to take that safety away. They have decided to defile it, and remove the safety we felt with just a word. Our door has always been open to our neighbors. Our door has always been open to our brothers and sisters in Christ and it still is. We fear what is on the other side of that door. We wonder who will come knocking and what they will say.

Though we lock the door we find No comfort behind it.

Lord as we begin a new week- Lord give me and my beloved strength to face whatever comes our way. This is the week we are to celebrate the birth of our King Jesus. The one who brings peace to the hearts of all men. We feel no peace Lord. Our lives are hanging on a thread. We desire for you to intervene. We ask that you go before us and tear down the enemy and His lies. We ask Lord that you prepare my babygirl's mouth, her words, and allow the truth to be revealed through HER tiny soul. Lord I am not worthy. I am at a loss and find NO comfort in anything but knowing that you still sit on the throne. May your mercy be upon our home, our family and upon my beloved and I. Shed your light upon us.

In Jesus Name.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Trials of life

At this moment as I type this- we (my beloved husband and I) are enduring the most difficult trial we have ever faced in our 23 years of marriage. This trial has rocked our very core, and it is a trial that we have absolutely NO control over. We have to just wait for the "due process" and endure till the end, pray that the truth is revealed, and that we as God's people will prevail.

This morning as I read a devotional that I have been going through about the Birth of our Savior - the title spoke to me- Courageous waiting: No word from God will ever Fail.

The quote from Annie Downs- Sometimes it takes alot of waiting and a little fear to keep on the brave path that God has picked for you.

The truth is that trials will come to God's people. The enemy is a "liar" ,as one faithful believer said to me. I can't help but think- was this situation like Job, where the enemy came before the Lord and the Lord said "do you see my faithful servants Sam and Angie? " and the enemy said- "well they are only faithful because you protect them. "

As we face each day with fear and trembling,uncertain of what will happen and who will knock on our door- we look towards heaven for comfort and strength. We ask all the redeemed to get on their knees in our behalf. Beseech the throne of God for our family, for our smallest children, and for HIS light to shine. To give me strength, my husband strength as we both try to survive, and live "normal" lives in this trial.

Mary's words ring in my ears- "May your words to me be fulfilled"

Lord speaks words of protection, guidance,comfort, peace and love to His people. I ask that HIS Words be fulfilled. May He be our strength when we are weak. May He bring us peace in the midst of the storm. May He reveal the truth and quiet the voice and lies of enemy.

Isaiah 54:17 No weapon formed against you will succeed,and you will refute any accusation raised against you in court.This is the heritage of the Lord’s servants,and their righteousness is from Me.”This is the Lord’s declaration.

Lord I am not worthy - and I thank you for who you are and what you have done. Lord you know the trial we are experiencing and I ask that you guide us through it. Help us to put our hope and trust in you. Bring peace to our souls Lord. Bring peace to my husband, as this is another trial that has challenged everything about him. Lord often I wonder ,what you are doing? why you are doing it? I do not know the answer- Lord. I love you!! I love you whatever comes! Protect my baby, and Noah. Let this be just a vague memory. Lord, I lift up this doctor to you. I ask that you also minister to her heart. If it is pain that caused her to move, then Lord I ask you heal it by first bringing her to you. Lord whatever it is I ask that you prevail in her life. As you have prevailed in mine. Bring peace to our Home. Help us to focus on you and you alone. Jesus I ask that you approach the throne of God in our behalf and end this situation for your glory and your HOnor!!!
In Jesus Name Amen

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