Friday, March 13, 2015

Day by Day



Each day is different, so it always amazes me when people say they don't like change. I often think, then you don't like life, because each day is different. I am grateful for each day, for the birds that are now singing, because the snow is quickly melting outside, for the signs of spring and warmer days.  I am grateful for a faithful husband who rises for work each morning. I am thankful for healthy children!

Lately I have been wondering what does humility look like for someone whom you might have offended? Should that humility be sober? Should any "pride" emulate from us in anyway when we know we have cased so much pain in someone else's life? How long should that humility last?

Too often people think "I am sorry" is good enough. I am sorry is a mean to show sorrow for the offense, right?

What happens when I am sorry doesn't seem good enough?  Pain isn't a switch that you can turn on and off. Depending on the offense that pain remains for some time. It takes an effort doesn't it? What do you do when it seems like no effort is being made and though the person has said they are sorry, and you forgive but every time you turn around they do not emulate humility.

What do you when Words do not seem enough? They seem empty?! I guess that is where I am at,in trying to understand humility, and pain.

These are reflections of my heart...


Thank you for another day, not only to serve you but to understand you. Pain is an aspect of life you never wanted your children to experience but  rebellion within us we turned from you and continue to turn from you. We live in a society that says "children are to rebel" We live in a society where it is ok to be dishonoring, disrespectful, prideful and unloving. Lord forgive us, a perverted generation. Father my hearts desire is to show the humility in my life as I should. To carry my consequences where I should, and live my life glorifying your name.

For the Glory of Christ I pray.




Thursday, March 12, 2015

In the morning


Most mornings I wake up, and I think what a beautiful day and other mornings I wake up and wish I could go right back to sleep. Life can be so hard. You face each day wondering what is going to happen, carrying whatever burdens and pains that consume your heart. This morning I woke with my heart-aching, feeling like someone was crushing it in their hands. I guess that is what it feels like being a mother whose children do not care about the pain they cause. I guess that is what it feels like to God when we rebel against Him and say things like, "I am going to do me."

Does His heartache as mine does? or is it worse?

I have not been on here a lot since January, I have been flooded and consumed with thoughts but unsure how to share them if it was safe to share them. My blog is so precious to me, at times it is my sound board. At other times it is also a place where I share the insights of God's Word with anyone who is willing to stop by and read. When my thoughts are flooding my mind I think of you my sweet friend but am afraid to start typing. This morning the pain is so great I don't know what to do with it, so here I am typing away. Expressing my sorrow and pain.

Dear Lord,

I have spent some much time hurting you, not living for you and standing in my own understanding, Forgive me Father for the pain I have caused you. For the dishonor I have brought to you, for the pain I have caused my mother in the past. Thank you for allowing me this time with her to restore,repair and reestablish a relationship with her. I think often of the time I wasted on hurt and anger towards her. You could have removed her permanently and I would not have this time. Thank you thank you thank you for this time Lord. I praise your Holy Name for the mercy you have bestowed upon me. For your continued Grace in my life. For your strength and forgiveness that you bestow upon me.

Lord help me in this season. Heal my heart, that I may glorify your name.



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