Ponder the Path of Thy Feet.....

When you are small you pray and hope to have a life full of much love and happiness. Especially with the past I had you hope to have many more days filled with so much happiness to wipe out the pain of the past. You never think in some ways you would relive ( not exactly) the pain of the past. I find myself right back to those of past. Facing the sins of father head on and all the pain that goes with the pain that comes with sexual sin. No the sins that were committed did not affect me directly because the sins were not done to me but the thought of how it has effected my children and myself causes me so much pain. My thoughts to spiral on what could I have done differently and how much I failed.  Now it is affecting every area of my life, my marriage and me. The anger, disgust and lack of love many people will not understand coming from a mother especially coming from a woman who declares herself a lover of Christ. In all of this I see that there is still much work to do and Lord ...

1 May the mind of Christ, my Savior, live in me from day to day, by his love and power controlling all I do and say. 2 May the word of God dwell richly in my heart from hour to hour, so that all may see I triumph only through his power. 3 May the peace of God, my Father, rule my life in everything, that I may be calm to comfort sick and sorrowing. 4 May the love of Jesus fill me as the waters fill the sea. Him exalting, self abasing: this is victory. 5 May His beauty rest upon me  as I seek the lost to win and may they forget the channel seeing only HIM

I have had my share of pain these past two years. Mostly from one person, but there has been others. Serving Christ comes with many sacrifices. Your reputation, your character, your family, your every action is  put under a microscope. People forget that you are no different than they are, just desiring to serve Christ in every way. When you are hurt it makes you wonder what it is all for?! If you are a "true" servant of God. His Word echos in your head of how He suffered.  His character was constantly judged, he was mocked, and crucified. Who are we to think our fate is any different? It doesn't make the pain any less, it doesn't even make the pain go away. But it does give you comfort in knowing that No matter what you face the Lord has experienced it and knows. Now I am in a different phase one of restoration, self examination, and certainly I desire to do it better than I have done before. I know I can't without HIM... I can't be who I need to be witho...

This weekend was crazy. Baby girl  turned 4 on Friday Oct 2nd so we ( Duck and I) spent the day on trying to make her feel like a princess and special since everyone was working. Papa is not around because of work, and Sis just had baby. Around 12- Big brother took her to lunch    Grandma stopped buy with her big present  And Big Sis and her family came over for a birthday dinner celebration. Chicken nuggets and Mac and cheese was the menu and ice cream cake to celebrate. In spite of how I thought the day was going to turn out for her,she  had a great day . Saturday was her big party at Chuck E Cheese. What a day it was! We finished the weekend with breakfast as a family with daddy  All in all the weekend was so full of celebrating the life God gave us! Thank you Lord for your blessings that overflows