Thursday, February 14, 2013

new season

We are entering into a new season.. not weather wise though I am anxious to see spring arrive. This season has to do with spiritual things. One that brings so many challenges to us all and one which we have tried so hard to honor Christ in.

One of our sons has decided to court a young lady, one in which he has known of for years, and when he was young had very strong feelings for. He started this process with emotions I believe based on the past in which he had for this young lady when he was like 14 years old and not biblically keeping emotions out of it till he knew for sure.

From the very beginning this "union" has been difficult and has had many obsticles thrown in its way. One being we believe that courtship should involve both sets of parents, but her parents have decided he wanted  no part of it. His protest had to do with the color of his skin. Though I do not think he has wavered much in this area, he has decided to dismiss responsibility or involvement in stating that she is an adult and has never sought his approval before why start now, and by seeking his approval and involvement makes it sound like a prearranged marriage. Of course that brought up our first concern and red flag.

Secondly, my son is willing to do whatever he needs to spend time with her. Whether it be a small amount of time or a great amount of time.. he goes to great efforts to do it. She on the other hand is unwilling to make any sacrifices. She is unwilling to make any changes to her life to accommodate the courtship. She is trying to fit this in to her "already full" and very busy life. (second red flag)

Already they have experienced arguments and he has experienced great frustration with her, and they have just started and have barely spent any face time with each other. She has deceived and lied to him,(third red flag) stating to him that she was going to the mall with a friend and it turned out to be with a young man that always has had feelings for her, but she doesn't like him that way. (she made sure to state)

All these things make me think what are you not seeing ? Why aren't you running in the other direction? You keep asking the Lord to show you clearly, is it just me but I think he is showing you quite clearly the answers but it is not what you want to hear because you have feelings for her. It reminds me so much of the parable or story of the man drowning...

There once was a man stranded in the middle of the ocean. His ship had crashed and he was left with nothing but the clothes on his back and a slowly deflating air tube. So in this hopeless situation, he prayed, "God, please bring me a miracle! Rescue me! Send angels to help me! Get me out of here!". No more than five minutes later, a boat came by to rescue the man; but the man didn't get in the boat. When asked to get in he simply replied, "I don't need your boat! God is going to save me". So the ship went on. Exactly an hour later, a helicopter flew right above the man. The man in the helicopter begged the desperate man to climb into the safe helicopter, but the man just replied, “No! God is going to save me!". So the helicopter went on. After another hour of floating aimlessly in the ocean, the man noticed a small island off in the distance. As he began to drift towards it he rapidly started paddling the opposite way, thinking, "I don't want to be on that island, God is going to save me!”. Shortly after that, the man drowns. Once he got through the proverbial pearly gates of heaven, he went straight up to God, infuriated about his death. "Why didn't you save me like I asked?", the man said in frustration. God just looked at the man, and replied by saying, "I sent you a boat, a helicopter and an island! Why didn't you use them??"

So tell me what do I do as a mother let him drown? Let him die in this relationship because he refuses to see the truth, refuses to adhere to counsel... refuses to be guided... Lord help me because I know you have shown me what you have shown me to bring them forth in Your glory and Your will.. but our will.. our flesh always gets in the way. Guide me Father as I seek your truth.

Sisters.. I know there are some of you who read and have wisdom please please please share!

Love In Christ Angie

1 comment:

  1. The first thing I would say, which I know you do, is pray! When emotions are involved it's very hard for them to see clearly. Our emotions can be very deceiving and at times lead us down a slippery slope. This may or may not happen with your son. If it does happen, be there to help catch him at the end of the slope.

    More now than ever before he needs to be shown unconditional love. During the young adult stages, they are making decisions that can effect them for a lifetime. One thing for sure, having that unconditional love means so much to them during this stage. Does that mean we approve of everything they do? Absolutely not!

    Do you let him drown in the relationship? The answer to that question is not simple. I don't think he will drown, but he may get his heart broken. If he does, it's not because you didn't try to rescue him. There's only so much you can do at this point.

    I know that God will give you wisdom *hugs*


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