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In the morning

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Most mornings I wake up, and I think what a beautiful day and other mornings I wake up and wish I could go right back to sleep. Life can be so hard. You face each day wondering what is going to happen, carrying whatever burdens and pains that consume your heart. This morning I woke with my heart-aching, feeling like someone was crushing it in their hands. I guess that is what it feels like being a mother whose children do not care about the pain they cause. I guess that is what it feels like to God when we rebel against Him and say things like, "I am going to do me."

Does His heartache as mine does? or is it worse?

I have not been on here a lot since January, I have been flooded and consumed with thoughts but unsure how to share them if it was safe to share them. My blog is so precious to me, at times it is my sound board. At other times it is also a place where I share the insights of God's Word with anyone who is willing to stop by and read. When my thoughts are flooding my mind I think of you my sweet friend but am afraid to start typing. This morning the pain is so great I don't know what to do with it, so here I am typing away. Expressing my sorrow and pain.

Dear Lord,

I have spent some much time hurting you, not living for you and standing in my own understanding, Forgive me Father for the pain I have caused you. For the dishonor I have brought to you, for the pain I have caused my mother in the past. Thank you for allowing me this time with her to restore,repair and reestablish a relationship with her. I think often of the time I wasted on hurt and anger towards her. You could have removed her permanently and I would not have this time. Thank you thank you thank you for this time Lord. I praise your Holy Name for the mercy you have bestowed upon me. For your continued Grace in my life. For your strength and forgiveness that you bestow upon me.

Lord help me in this season. Heal my heart, that I may glorify your name.

Amen....
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