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Monday, November 1, 2010

6 weeks and counting

Yes it's only been six weeks since our arrival here in Pa. In so many ways it seems so much longer. It seems like forever since we pulled up with our big 26 foot truck ready for a new beginning.

Life began right away- when I say right away I mean a day or two after arrival. At this point I had not gotten a routine down nor have even figured out where things were( a grocery store, post office, bank etc )when I was thrown full speed ahead into what has been the busiest time of my life. At first I was unsure and not really wanting to do what it was I was asked to do. Torn between my wifely/ motherly duties and the need that arose I stepped out meeting the need at the same time meeting the need of our family that was pending around the corner.( The Lord always knows before we do)

The weeks have blended into each other and looking back I wonder how mothers today manage "everything" or do they?
What suffers? Their homes? Their relationship with their spouse? The relationship with their children? Their relationship with Christ?

I also wonder how can I continue managing my homeschooling family, meet their needs and do what I desire to do?
You can not serve two masters.(Matthew 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. )
Yes since the course of the six weeks it has changed my heart from meeting a need to fulfilling something inside of myself that I did not know needed fulfilling. Feeling important, feeling needed and knowing that I am making a difference in even this small way.

Having freedom to make choices even down to, hmm, what do I want for lunch? I know sounds so petty and so stupid but in a life where everything has never been about you, your needs, your wants, your desires or even your dreams, where you have spent a life time laying your life down for others to help them accomplish their life aspirations and dreams. And yet feel you are spinning your wheels in the mud! To watch and see those you have made sacrifices for seem to not appreciate the depth of your sacrifice. Or attempt to take what you have given them and grasp it in it's full capacity.

I guess I could turn those thoughts on Christ and his ultimate sacrifice to us- praise be to Him that He does not get frustrated with me! Nor give up on me or feel that his sacrifice is no longer worth anything. Even though I know at times I have devalued that sacrifice with my defiling sin and attitude!


So dear friends that is what has been going on in a very brief "nut shell"
Please pray for me

Angie

1 comment:

  1. I hear your heart my friend.
    And have had seasons where I have felt the same.
    I always come back to making sure my desires, are Christ desires.
    And then to ask...sometimes beg God to give me the desires of my heart.
    Knowing that because of Christ he will answer.
    And for me it is also knowing it isnt so much about the destination that counts but it is indeed the journey, have I yeilded my whole life, body and soul to the one who has given everything for me.This includes my thoughts that often have to be taken captive and brought into the obedience of Christ, or they will take me places my Lord has never intended that I go,
    So grateful for a loving God that is not suprised when I fail, and never gives up on me.
    Praying for you as you travail through this season, and encouraging you that God is indeed at work.
    Much love to you my friend.
    Shelly

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