Skip to main content

Each day welding

It often amazes me how quickly time goes. Each day welding into the next and each one being like the other but different in many ways. I spend so much time racing to keep with myself, responsibilities, schooling, house, groceries, laundry, as well so many other things. My heart's intention is always misunderstood and I wonder often why I bother or even care.

Examining other mothers- who seem to function and can disconnect and live without being affected by the choices their children make and rarely do you hear them share a word of what is on their heart concerning them. I look in the mirror and wonder- what is wrong with me?

How come I can't seem to manage what is going on? How come everyone else seems to have all together? Their kids are "perfect" and I am just watching myself and the world around me unravel. (at least that is how it feels)

As you rear your children and train them in life, of course the goal is to make them productive,GODLY members of society. (at least that was my goal) Some how they have become members of society- that is it. The productive and Godly neither of them seem to matter, especially to my young men. They think that staying up playing video games then going to bed at whatever time they choose is productivity. They do not see the wasting away of their lives and their choices well lets say you would think that none of them have been raised on a foundation of the  Word. It is so sad.

I am challenged at the time, energy, and sacrifice to end with this result. I look at each young man- and only one is trying to live according to conviction. The one who is trying, is also willing to listen to counsel and works so hard to honor it.

Oct 31, 2014
Thoughts I never shared,thought I would post now

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hello all...

Hello my Siesta(Beth Moore's word for Sisters-Love it)  I have decided to start this online bible Blog Study that Preacher's Wife  wrote. It has already started my wheels turning in my mind and heart. The very first question:  Are there any circumstances or relationships in your life where you can see God has intentionally placed you? Yes- many! A few grow heavy in my heart! What do you perceive may be at stake if you do or do not speak out for Him? The person's soul will be lost for eternity. They will not walk with me into the gates of heaven and I will spend the rest of my eternal life knowning I did nothing, said nothing and do not do what God intended me to do. Can you Honestly describe yourself as a woman with a "yes" in her spirit? No I can not say I can- I would like to fool myself and those around you to say I am but when it comes down to it.. I have failed! If not what keeps you from this? FEAR- fear that the person will see my words as judgement and no...

Saying "I love you"...

Thinking about these words. These words that are to express our deepest emotions. These words that are to leave us vunerable and open, just do not seem to have the impact they use to. Many people use these words so fleeting. They use them as if to say "thank you", or "I thought about you today". For me "I love you" is not an easy thing to say. If I say I love you- I mean it from way down deep in my heart. They are not just words to be said but also words, that are to be put into action. Have you ever thought about that? When someone says "I love you", do they show through their actions that they love you?  or do they leave you going Huh, really? I have had those thoughts, wondering if the person who has declared their love really does love me because actions speak louder than words to me. I hear their words but then on the other hand see their actions and  they do not act like a person who even cares about my well being. Jesus never states in the...

The week...

we arrived here very late in Texas. I spent the next two days unpacking our things, as I packed Samuel's sisters things. It has been a hard week of lifting, moving, and unpacking all alone. The thoughts that ran through my head- was what am I doing here. Why would I come to this place to deal with life alone? To not have a family member be an every day part of my life. Who truly cared about the children and their lives. To come to a place where everyone is so self center- whose lives are focused only on themselves. NOt blessing, not caring, just having the family on holidays. In life I never imagined that I would be spending my life alone- not alone per say without my children, and husband. I mean alone with out my family.(brother and sister, mom, dad) I always thought that I was going to spend all my special and most important moments in life with all of them. I realize that is a fairy tale now. I realize that nothing in life is the way you "want" or "think" i...