Tuesday, April 16, 2013

You open your mouth but does it matter?

Have you ever felt like  you open your mouth words are coming out but no one is listening?
I feel that way sometimes.. I have so much to share... so much the Lord reveals to me, but there is NO one who is listening. Why give me these gifts of leadership, prophecy, discipleship and not give me some place to use them, and grow them? I wish I would have never found out what my gifts are!!
Why bother? It is wasted on a WOMAN! The challenge is I am a woman, so I have to be careful how excited or passionate I get about sharing the Word. I have to be careful how loud I am when I want to scream "Halleluia- you dead souls can you not see and  do you not realize HE lives".   So instead I sing as Loud as I can. I have to be careful not to allow the excitement of Worship over take me, that all I want to do is just bow before HIM and weep. (Nope not allowed)  SO in the bottle of "woman be silent" I go, kicking and screaming, rebelling and resisting because the meek and quiet spirit I was not gifted with. How do I be what I am not?

How do I sit back? How do I become the "meek and quiet" spirit? I have tried so hard. I even went as far as to put a head covering on in hopes that it would change me. In hope that it would make me that woman that scripture speaks of. I will never be her. I will always fail, because of my strength, boldness, insight, and love for the Lord and His statues that I have a hard time closing my mouth about. This passion is on fire within me, how do I take water and put it out? Then what would I be? Who would I be? Would I even like who I am? Be yet my voice is not heard because   Its a voice of a woman.....

Allowing my heart to overflow,

1 comment:

  1. But you know what gifts He has given you!! I have been reading and contemplating 1 Cor 12 all week. I don't know what gifts He has given me. To be honest, I feel like I have no gifts to share. It is great you have something to share, even though you do not feel like you have a way to get it out. (or a way to *properly* let it all out) Do you have a woman's Bible/worship group? Maybe you are supposed to lead one? Miss you!


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